Lim Peh's countdown of the week ( maybe year)

LPSC may not sound as shitty dirty brutal trash as it is
LPSC can also stand for
1) Louisiana Public Service Commission
2) Liverpool Plains Shire Council
3) Liquid Propulsion Systems Centre
4) London Practical Shooting Club
5) Loretta Paganini School of Cooking
6) Lunar and Planetary Science Conference
7) Lewis Proton Shielding Code

Wa lau eh so much LPSC existed already??? guess we have to think of new creative terms liao =(

sorry for the delay response

the reason why we didnt post any articles for 4 months is mainly because we didnt know the new account. But somebody finally, just, suddenly, miraculously found out that all the usernames of big cock , undies , turkey man and lim peh will be under the LPSC.co@gmail.com . so u guys please login using the gmail instead of ur crappy usernames.

also wanna thank the readers who post tasteless, vague," one word " comments in the tagboard , we appreciate ur patience and believe in LPSC.

stay tune for the new cockcast ( although i don't know what it is about ) as promised by turkeyman soon , i hope ......................... ..................

LIM PEI is back from vacation !!

and realise that big cock , undies and turkeyman are not doing their jobs in LPSC!!!!!! what the fish is going on dudes !!! why stop ??? dont let our fellow fans and friends down after all the trouble of creating a blog with such a long name ! cmon fellows , wake ur bleeding ass up!!




ok ok i will start the ball rolling ........... by writing a letter to my brother santa

DEAR Santa CLaUS ,

how are u , i am fine. hope u rmbr lim peh and u still owe me $50 from me last yr to buy 4D in s'pore. lim peh ka le kong, dun think i rich ok? $ 50 still ,money leh!!! pls return ASAP when u fly here . I went everywhere on Xmas to find u leh from paris to berlin . Taipei to Beijing . dunno why evry Xmas looks the same to me. everytime go to my old folks home got volunteer come visit us like we old man very pathetic like . not to mention someone dressing up like u with the heavy thick cotton red cloth over his oversized unrealistic always fatty belly. where u buy the belt that fit ur waist eh? lim peh want to buy one for Miss V hehe . then Lim pei always get turkey and all sorts of crappy log cakes for xmas dinner . evry yr eat turkey , talk cock with people. on xmas . SIANZ.

i hope u understand my powderfulll England for i gotta warn u about coming here should decide to return my money

1) the gahmen
2) sarong party girls suspiciously near u
3) GST cheats
4) excessively decorated xmas trees that may blind ur ageing eyes haha
5) the formidable giant Miss V
6) 4 mill. ppl smiling at u for no whatsoever reason .
7) ur raindeer might land on esplanade aka durian shell
8) no chimney for u to sneak in soz
9) naughty chew-ren who will call u AH PUEY hehe
10) last but not least
AFTER EVERYTHING pls GET OUT OF MY " elite and uncaring face" pls

and i wish myself a happy new year . right a happy one . i think so.......................

DON't Beat around the BUSH!!

today, President of USA , BUSH, visit S'pore . Today, i just realised that GST increase by 007% next year. TOday, I saw the the the CAsino royale 007 advertisement. WOW so much things happen during the O week . how come lim peh donch know??? i also donch know why.

but nebermind nah., the most importing is wondering where the extra 2% og GST ( ""good"" service tax? ) goes. does it really help the begga... i mean low income people???? OR is it to mark the new 007 movie with 007 % GST???

hmmmmmm . I suspect that the money may be hidden in a tunnel behind my toilet. just like there is a tunnel behind the cell in PRISON BREAK . So I go for another adventure .


day1
to remove a toilet bowl, i need to unscrew the screw , to unscrew i need a screwdriver. where can i find a decent SCrewdriver? hmmmm.................... i feel so screwed up.

day 2
i made a screwdriver by stealing a screwdriver from the construction site nearby. Made In China . don't know strong or not. nebermind lah. a lot of things also made in China. China also developing a lot. so quality should be good.

day 3
i started unscrewing my screwed screw . hoping that the haze and S'poreans' heck care attitude will cover my secret mission and overcome the gahmen's "Foresight " . they cant even takle the haze!

GREAT !!! toilet bowl removed! .............. no tunnel found. mission failed . GREAT. NOW I HAVE TO START FIXING THE TOILET BOWL BACK AGAIN.!!!!!! STUPID PRESON BREAK TEACH WRONG STUFF . I WILL NEBER TRUST THE MEDIA AGAIN EVER.

BUT !!! maybe i can learn a thing or two in CASINO ROYALEEEEEEEEEEEEE..........

wha i write so long ?

Courts to review on sentencing guidelines

the Cock of justice wants to strike balance on punishing and rehabilitating offenders. it says " ...should hand down appropriate penalties, reform the criminal and reintegrate him to society" .

Offenders to be integrated must be minor such as spitting on a white man , destroying vandalism evidence, dirtying a pee aae pee white shirt , stealing money from charity funds, suicidal intention by buying Subutex. etc
Offenders must also have at least a N level cert, score
more than 20 points in L1R5 and been dropouts from 10 schools . ( not including Independence schools)

Instead of being punished, offenders will go through painful and long rehabilitation that will keep them from rotting in prison.
" Now , offenders can no longer be kept in jail, they shit around , crap a lot and F**** ing show attitude even after released." one of the officers said. " Thus, we should not only punish the offenders but to "rehabilitate " them as well "

Offenders can also now choose to go through a gruelling Survivor-like series of training in Pulau Ubin and other islands to have a taste of new prison life by the sea.

Rumours have it that the prisoners are not allowed to watch television recently ,especially after the opening of the new show " PRISON BREAK" .

Some prisons even increase their security level from a puny security camera to highly sensitive camera that can track down the movement of any individual with tattoo or piercings . " this new security can help to prevent anyone from escaping or saving his brother in prison.

Prisoners must also learn new skills while serving their sentence .
New courses available are:
Tattoo art ---- their favourite
piercing
Complete Idiot guide to obeying the law
boxing
licking
swallowing
advertising for products -- for 7-11 , NTUC, Giant, Isetan
advertising for campaignes --- No smoking, No Drug , No Fishing.



And most importantly , ...........SINGING.. so that they can reintegrate to society . see the link?? People tend to accept those who can sing and will go crazy about singers .. just like how Singapore Idol make telephone companies rich .

Quote : An apple a day keeps a doctor away , if the doctor is chio , throw the apple away .
If the doctor is gay , eat 2 apples a day.
GGG , 2080

Announcement .

DEserted forum drying up, but replenishing .

. to all readers , are you curious about how birds fly? do you wanna know why gays are homo? Do you know the secret to genetically modified underwears? here is what lim peh found for your doubts. Bio forum ( started last yr deserted last yr founded by Mr aurl ) can answer all your stupid nonsense. just visit http://groups.msn.com/unitybioLim peh will be there to help lost desert camel ,...see yah thats one thing to do this weekend of u are not happy with your bio results . HO She BO

LETS GEMS; Go Eat My Shai!
“Oi, uncle, 1 chicken chop”
“Nah, $5 pls. “

“Huh? Why the chop so small today? Last time I buy the chop is bigger”

“Oh, no choice lah. Now got the IMF so must save the bigger chops for bigger guests. “

“ IMF ? ”
“ haven’t you heard ?? that one leh. got a lot of rich men and women coming to s’pore. the one locals call “ International Massive Freaks” ….. some more , less people want to eat western food now because PM Lee said “ Mee Siam Mai hum” so everyone want to eat Mee Siam with cockles . That PM Lee also damn creative siah. Mee Siam where got hum? Now, the Muslim food stall , rich like hell . you see the Indian food stall opposite? ever since the movie “ the Devil wears Prada ” now people think the devil eats prata. Now, Raju change hand phone more often than before lor. What a great investment”

LIKE I CARE! this guy is damn long winded and irritating. Not to mention that he tortured lim peh ‘s ears with his speech. Unfortunately, he was not the only one who is not happy with providing services. Many other service providers just frown too much. Mr Awanna Maney from Food Agriculture Congress -Union ( FAC-U) said “ so you see , people are too tired to give u pathetic fools a damn smile. They are saving energy to serve IMF people. Now get the hell out of here! ”

Even the old hag ,who specialized in photocopy worksheets, practice that.
LIM PEH
“ Oi women , 1 paper 2 sets .”

“ …………~,~ ……………………….zap………….zap………..zap………….zap”

“……………~,~………………..$1.53” LIFE STINKS

Rich Teacher
“ hey, 1 paper 46 sets”
“OKAY! NO PROBLEM!!! ZAP ZAP ZAP
HERE $90.54 PLEASE~! THANK YOU VERY MUCH PLEASE COME BACK AGAIN!”
You can almost see her eyes popped out and that rare smile. Sometimes, I wonder whether machines are more polite than us.


" wow ! everyone looks so happy! "

"thats because all the grumpy and defiant ass clowns are killed in the 1964 riots "

Celebration a fiasco

"oi why are u back !!@#%$^@$ " shouted lim pei

" yah lor , what u want!? " said the 2 birds, BigC0ck and turkeyman

" hey where's my kopi-O? " , asked undies.

a sudden breeze of coldness filled the air .................................. brrrrrr

"I cant see mars !! " cried GGG -------------* refer to july archives for more on GGG*

ALAMAK! bloody heaven!!! No Mars means that GGG stays for another thousand year. Grrrrr
" bohohohoho.................. sobx sobx.... No Mars ! Ramly lied us ! " cried GGG .

yah lor , ramly lied everyone leh, wahhh first time hear teacher lie seh . i neber thought that teachers have any sense of humour. MUST celebrate thiss in 31 August siah .
so no mars, lim peh didnt see any red ball up the sky so high like a balloon in the sky.
what a shameful way to see my money burn in the party .
so good news or BAD news, GGG is here to stay. bloody hell ....... sigh..

And yes operation NEW Horizon is true and happening , undergarments . NASA has sent a robot to Pluto to take pictures of everything there including Mr Kuiper's belt. sicko perverts are the NASA u might say .

LPSC celebrates 27 th August!


THis week , people are going crazy about the last undiscovered frontier , SPACE.
People have been talking from the solar system to Mars and then pluto. whoaaaa .Speaking of mars, GGG will be getting ready to set off back to home on 27th August . " .....because Mars will be nearest to Earth on that day!" he/she said. He better made it to Mars , cause we don't want him for the next 1000 yrs on Earth,!!! ( * refer to june archives for more details about this abominable alien )
GGG said," I want to go home , GO home !!!! hurray MArs coming back for me!! " like real .
therefore , LPSC want everyone of you readers to give ur final farewell and flowers o GGG so that we can sent him home as soon as possible. u know what i mean?
LOOK INTO THE SKY AT 27TH AUGUST TO SEE GGG 'S ROCKET GOING TO THE RED BALL NEXT TO MOON AT 10PM FOR THE LAST TIME.

Quote from GGG " no one alive will ever see this again"
Huh??? what does" this " refer to ? GGG? or MARS?

Anyway ,some asked,"What happened to pluto? why is it 8 planets now ah? I thought got 9 leh?"
well, lim peh went to research. Maybe all of u should do ur own research.

But anyway, Pluto is no longer considered a planet. Some ppl even say pluto kenna collided with Neptune. NOOOOOOOOOO , this is untrue. Actually, the new definition, what ever it might mean, made pluto a dwarf planet . Thus, no longer a planet by itself.

" Long before ur time ah , Pluto was thought to be an escaped moon of Neptune leh, don play play " said Mr Twinkle Starrre , one of the many astronomy lunatic. " whaaa , now ah , Pluto from planet become dwarf . Stylo Milo siah!!! "

So are there anymore dwarf planets around .?
yes , lim peh checked on one of them. CERES . wherE? somewhere between mars and Jupiter.
it is very small . maybe like pluto. i dont give a damn.

SO what will NASA do about Pluto. ?

Since Pluto came into news media, Nasa started an operation to check on pluto.

OPERATION KAYPOH NEW HORIZON. check it out at Nasa website.

GOOD BYE GUNDU Gamma Gay ...... bloody son of a ....!

COuntdown of The WeEk

Once again , Cowdung of the week is back! this week's cowdung is about 10 things what UNEMPLOYMENT will cause a person to do!



1) You will start to hang out in coffeeshop more often than ever
2) you become more aware of the gahmen policies
3) you start to spend more time on Internet
4) u may consider blogging
5) u start to criticise the gahmen and other sensitive issues in ur blog
6) u use stupid colours e.g. BROWN or other names e.g. kin mun for ur username to protect ur identity. GRRRRRRR....
( bloody hell use my name!!!)

7) u start podcasting about Bah Chor Mee and other irrelevent noodles
8) ur blog starts to get more popular and infamous
9) u start to worry about ur broadband and lawyers fees
10) u see urself ending up in the gahmen's national day speech.

Not so good huh......

Anyway, Teacher's Day is coming and lpsc will be talking about our t'chers throughout next week . Let us talk about our t'chers' weakness and personalities for t'chers day .
T'chers such as ,
Mrs Ram butan
Mr soooo KH .......
Mr Yappy yappy yap
Miss pearlyn lim perlyn lim puay lim L.
P .L .P. L. P
Mr Arul chndrn ai shey bui
and of course Mr ChewBAkar
and many many more ......

the following news is purely untrue and any questions about the credibility will not be commented.
New Game in town

WOW: World of Warbala
From reliable sources , LPSC was informed that BLizzard and Microsoft are working together to create a brand new PC game that will rule the world. Game developer, Mr Harry Silverman, said that they will be coming up with a new idea in the game which will relate to the world events.
" there will also be better graphics and sound effects that you can imagine it is happening right now. !"

This new strategic game will only be available in 5 countries namely Isreal, Lebaneon, Sri Lanka, Ireland and East timor. " we will try to increase the no. of countries to buy this game, but at the meantime, it is useful for this 5 countries to try it first. Why? because the people there are generally more experienced and familiar with the game. Game is still under development. " said the Head of the Collaboration team.

Miss Ang Gu Kui , one of the many Game Designers involved , hinted " there will be unique characters with special powers in the game. It 's gonna be bigger , and better.!"
Hero 1
O'Sammy bin ladder - the prominent figure related by many to terrorism cases.
ability- to summon blind wolverines who kill anyone they hear even if they cant see them .

Hero 2
p_UN_k-- You don't wanna mess with this guy
ability -- sent paratroopers( 1 hr later) to conflicted area. they are specialised to cease fire and peace keeping
-- sent aids to injured troops for free ( also 1 hr later)

Hero 3
Rajumnak hfoahfio son of bala --- mysterious black dark person who tries to split a country into half .
ability? - summon Tigers to assist his confrontation .
- convert civilians into suicide bombers.

Hero 4
Catholic- tic_ con verters - -- you son of a b****!
ability- summon masked Riders who can ride on any mobile objects and attack any civilians in sight.
- espcially aggressive to the anyone who go against them. !!

so there may be many other heroes in the game. " Names of the groups have not been decided yet due to game complictations ." More countries will get to play the game if the reactions are good.

" there will be scenarios such as the Water supplies, the 2 kidnapped soldiers and optional quests like Bloody Moonday and Tigers on the loss" said Miss Ang.
Teen Gamer in Sri lanka , Bala-4_life '" the game is great, the graphics are not only Fantastic, the sound effect is soooo real. you can even hear the explosions a distance away"
For more deatails please visit http://www.

Lim peh: so what makes you think of such ideas?
Developer: well , basically , we want to put in some real- life ass kicking actions for the young generation to enjoy and have fun. we will keep it as non-fiction as possible. But ,sorry . NO undead, No nightelves and NO orcs!!!!
lim peh: do you have anything else to add on?
Developer: Jiak Bah Bueh?
lim peh: simme dai ji !?!!?
Developer: neber mind.